Returning to work

There is a huge debate between two groups of moms I see regularly. The stay at home moms (SAHM) and the work out of home (I'm not sure if there's a short term for this one). They seem to go back and forth about which is better for the kids and socialization and so on and so on. I guess it depends on which side of the coin you happen to land. The stay at home moms say they love it and it's the best for the child. The moms that work either say they wish they could stay home, but can't afford it. Others state that their kids are watching them be productive parts of society. It becomes a heated battle on many sites around the interwebs.

I guess for me it's a bit different. I get to be a stay at home mom in the summers and work during the school year. This will be great once Sader-tot is at school, but a whole different ball game when she has to spend her days with someone other than me. We picked a great family to spend their time with Sadi, but, as everyone knows, mommy is best. I initially assumed my summer would be monotonous and dull. The days dragging on like I have a kid chained to my ankle and I can't escape, eager to return to work.
As the summer comes to a close I realize that I was totally wrong. I have less than a week left to return to work and I dread every second of it. I have enjoyed my time with Sadi so much and to drop that time to a few waking hours a day, I think I might find myself hovering over her bed at night just to catch a few more peeks at my sweet girl.

My job is rewarding at times and absolute chaos at others. Working with kids gives me such a wide perspective on how kids are so resilient and withstand so much. I see how kids make it through more than most adults have seen in their lifetime. This also has left me jaded. A little more scared and holding Sadi a little tighter as I leave her with others. I've seen some of the things that could happen. Some of the things that do happen. Most of which are preventable, but as mothers our minds go strait to "what if that was my kid", right!? Seeing the outcome makes it so much more real. Like I can't say, "I don't know anyone that's happened to" or "That doesn't happen that often."

I know that things will go great and once I get into the swing of things I will enjoy the things about my job I once did. Teaching kids to be polite members of society (as much as humanly possible for the population I work with) can be fun and rewarding and keeping my eyes on that aspect as well as the skills I am learning about parenting as well as teaching my own child.

I hope my empathy and kindness for others rubs off on my daughter and she has the same work ethic her father and I have, b ecause despite not working for the last 2 months, I have worked my ass off at home! Taking care of a baby and a husband is tough work.

Perhaps we can have another one soon and I won't have to work anymore....